


Pushed to the Edge

by AnaKitten24601



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bullied Eren Yeager, Bullying, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 01:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17540228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaKitten24601/pseuds/AnaKitten24601
Summary: Eren has been pushed to the edge by Levi's abuse.





	Pushed to the Edge

Eren Jaegar stood on the roof of the school. His uniform flapping in the wind, his turquoise eyes were focused on the ground that was a step and a fall in front of him. He didn't acknowledge the masses of students below him, all screaming various things:

"Don't do it!"

"Finally!"

"Do a flip!"

"Eren!"

He ignored all that. Because it didn't matter anymore. His whole body was numb. All these years of slowly numbing himself, to feel nothing. All he had wanted was to feel nothing. And now he did. But he realized that now he didn't feel anything, he was broken. They had broken him. He had broken himself. He was barely human; he couldn't feel anymore. What was the point of living life if you weren't human anymore?

Eren resisted the urge to look behind him as he heard the roof door bust open, despite all his barricading. Eren was done looking back, literally and figuratively.

But he regretted not turning around earlier when he heard a voice. The voice. The voice that pushed him this far. The voice that had made him nothing more than an empty shell.

"What are you doing?"

Eren didn't dignify the stupid question with an answer.

“Honestly, you’ve become so dramatic. You used to be able to take a beating with grace, and here you are, up here, crying like a princess,” Levi’s voice always had the steel edge to it that seemed to scrape against Eren’s will to live. "Hey, brat. Turn around."

Eren simply gave the senior a glance over his shoulder. Levi Ackerman was who stood behind him, his demeanor hadn't changed even when faced with the dire consequences of his careless actions. Eren sighed softly, looking at his watch for what felt like the millionth time since he’d been up here before training his eyes back on the ground below the ledge of where he stood.

"Tch, I said look at me, you stupid brat."

Eren noticed it. His voice was softer than normal, and he'd heard it. The small crack in his voice. He balled his hands up into fists, digging his fingers into the flesh of his palms, to relieve the fear and pain he felt at just being near Levi.

"Forgive me," Eren said bitterly, "if I don't want to look at your face."

It was another form of torture Levi had inflicted. Every beating, every hurtful comment, everything that Levi did to him. He made sure that Eren was looking at him. Staring him dead in the eye, even when his vision was blurred by tears. Eren couldn't so much as glance at the older boy without fear pumping through his veins.

He heard footsteps approach him, but knew Levi wouldn't stop him. Why would he? He'd been the one telling Eren to kill himself since the fifth grade.

"I said turn around."

Unfortunately, Levi held so much power over Eren. Even at the brink of death. Eren felt powerless against him and complied, shuffling his feet on the ledge to turn around and face his tormentor of so many years.

Levi Ackerman was a senior, only a year older than Eren. He was shorter than him, but his eyes held something that made Eren fear him from the moment he'd met him.

Those eyes were grey and unyielding in the power of fear they held over Eren's head. Even at his moment of death.

"What?" Eren snapped. "What could you possibly want? What more could you possibly ask of me? What more could you possibly take from me?"

Levi didn't react to the vicious words from the younger boy, but during any other circumstances, Levi would kick him in the stomach until he was coughing blood and tell him how worthless he was.

"I want you to get down from that ledge. Now."

Eren may have feared Levi, a lot. But with the prospect of finally being free from him, Eren didn't allow himself to follow Levi's command.

"Get down?" Eren laughed, full of bitterness and distaste. "You're telling me to get down when you have spent the last seven years telling me to get up here."

Levi stared Eren's eyes down. "I said get down, Eren."

Even with all those thoughts running through his mind, he said something he'd never said to Levi.

"No."

Eren, feeling high from defying Levi for the first time ever, turned around again, closing his eyes and smiling all while only one thought ran through Levi's mind.

I can't save him.

The only way Levi knew how to control Eren and it didn't work. Eren was going to jump off of this roof and it would be his fault. And now, he had no way to stop him.

"I said stop, Eren!"

Eren's eyes snapped open. Levi's voice laid out a blueprint of everything in his mind to Eren. Fear twisted in his voice, panic gripped his words, but it wasn't that that hit him so hard. It was how Levi said his name. He hadn't said his name angrily or distastefully or hatefully. He said it like a prayer. Like a young child whispering to God from his bed at night. Like he was asking Eren to save him.

And when Eren turned around, it was confirmed as much. Levi was on his knees, hunched over, his body shaking slightly. He eyes stayed on the concrete. He wasn't the monster that tortured him anymore, he wasn't the brute that beat him, he wasn't the bully that instilled feelings of worthlessness in him.

He was a child, on the ground sobbing. Something in Eren's mind said it might be a trick. But a whole lot more of Eren was what pushed him to step off the ledge, back onto the roof and approached Levi against all his better judgment.

Dark grey eyes looked up to him, tears created a sheen across the top of his irises. Levi’s fingers reached out and gripped the bottom of Eren’s shirt, balling it in his palms. He shuffled closer and pressed his forehead against Eren’s thigh.

“Please don’t leave me, Eren. Please. You’re all I have.”

He wanted to kick the audacity out of him. He wanted to scream at him. Levi fucking Ackerman was kneeling at his feet, begging him to stay in a hellish world that he’d created for him.

Eren shook the older boy’s hold off of his leg and leaned down beside him. Levi’s head tipped up to look at bright green eyes that were filled with rage, his black bangs brushed back by Eren’s careful caress. His warm hands enveloped Levi’s shaking cold ones, tugging them from their firm grasp on his shirt.

“I fucking hate you,” Eren whispered, his voice was cold and sharp. He threw Levi’s hands back at him, the boy flinching in response to the vicious action.

Eren practically skipped back up onto the ledge, spinning on his heels and grinned at his tormenter manically. “And I don’t know how you expected this to end!”

Levi slumped against the concrete floor, looking up at him. “I… I love you, Eren…”

Eren’s mouth tipped up sardonically. “Good. Maybe then this might hurt you. Just once, I want to hurt you.”

Levi shuffled forward on his knees “I-I’m hurting, I hurt every day that I’m not with you, I just want to be with you! You… you were going to leave me… I had to make you stay. Hurting you was the only way to make you stay!”

Eren’s eyes stared at him, equally bored and enraged. “Are you telling me that the last seven years of my life have been hell because I made friends with Armin? Because you were jealous? Did your mother really fuck you up so badly that that made sense to you?”

“Don’t leave me…” he repeated weakly.

A quiet beep drew Eren’s attention to his watch. “Sorry, Levi. Time’s up.”

He turned his back to him. Levi’s screams fell on deaf ears. Eren’s body fell on solid concrete.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this and I wrote it like two years ago but figured I'd upload it anyways, enjoy! 
> 
> xoxo,  
> Ana


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